Please Don’t Tell – East Village, New York City

Last Winter, Fork My Piehole took a trip to the concrete jungle that is New York City.  We’ve both been to NYC before but, as we’d already done most of the touristy bits, this time we had the pure aim of consuming as many goodies as we possibly could.  We’d heard of Please Don’t Tell from friends and online and it was a definite ‘need to visit’ on our list.

This is a non-reservation bar and quite exclusive; we had to call for a table non-stop for a good ten minutes to get through the phone lines. We’d tried the previous day with no joy – we did call a bit later (you have to call when they open at 3pm), so learned our lesson and set an alarm to remind us to book – and having limited time in NYC this was our last chance! Luckily we got through and booked a table. So, as it would make sense, we made our way to the East Village for our slot at 9pm.

The bar is hidden in a hotdog shop, Crif Dogs, and you have to get in a phonebooth then call the bar to gain entry. SNEAKY. I like getting into bars like this – feels like you are part of a secret club because if I was just in there munching on a dawg I would never tell there’s a bar through the back of the phonebooth. So we pressed the call button, had a brief conversation and were let in then shown swiftly to our table.

Unsurprisingly, there was a constant stream of people/customers trying to get walk in seats – *WARNING* do not try for walk ins as this bar is a popular place, hence our difficulty to get through when we called at 3pm. Make sure to call ahead and you won’t regret it.

All cocktails are $15 and our favourite was the Planter Punch which was presented in a terracotta cup, to link with the name.  This cocktail is made from Banks 7 Golden Age Rum, pineapple, lime and orange juice along with cranberry cordial and bitters. Delicious!!

Unfortunately (well, it wasn’t unfortunate for me) the name of the second cocktail pictured above escapes me but I can assure you that nothing consumed at Please Don’t Tell was anything less than lush. The staff were very attentive and hardly ever left us without either a drink or a drinks menu – thanks gang!

When it came to decoration this place was pretty fun. Some weird taxidermy including a bow-tie sporting owl (bow-ties are cool) which particularly drew our gaze, a hat donning bear and some gemmed up weasel fox otter thing – we were told what it was but lord knows if I can remember. The place could probably have held around 25 seated people, with chairs around the bar, a few booths and some smaller tables. It felt like we were in a bunker with the bar’s lowish ceilings and the room was pretty long and narrow. All wooden, leathery and bricky.

We grabbed some food (which comes from the upstairs Crif Dogs) and initially thought we would go elsewhere for a bigger feast afterwards so went to share a $7 Chang Dog and get a side of both $6 waffle fries and $6 tater tots. So a hotdog and 2 sides between women with appetites like ours – if you follow us I’d hope you’d know by now we do not eat light. OH MY LORD. I have NEVER seen sides that massive! As they arrived we both looked at eachother with an expression of WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! – brilliant and at the price of a normal side. These bad boys were standard side trays with foil wrapped up the side to make them into pretty much buckets of potato goodness, with glorious fake yellow American cheese in a tray alongside for prime dippage. The hotdog was nice, we went for the one with kimchi but we were so overwhelmed by the sides! Epic. We also can’t work out why tater tots aren’t a side in the UK as they are BANGING.

Several cocktails later we thought we should explore a little more of the neighbourhood (we didn’t get far) but it was a reluctant choice with how easily we spent two and a half hours at PDT, plus the warmth of the bar vs the December sub-zero temperatures outside.

Our experience at PDT didn’t quite end when we left the establishment…as we had doggy bagged our sides, we ate them with pride on our hotel bed. That was the best 3am snack, dipping the tots into the cheese sauce in our Downtown Brooklyn hotel the week before Christmas. Perfect. Thanks, PDT. Thoroughly recommended.

Forked by Stefpuff

Twitter/Instagram: @PDTNYC

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