It begins! We stepped through the door and were greeted by some of the lovely staff, nudging us to the seating behind the barber’s chairs and offering drinks of still or sparkling water, lemonade or beer. I went for a lemonade, as did Simon. Now at this point you may be wondering where my beard is and how I would benefit from a cutthroat shave, but my other half is taking one on the chin (literally) and hoping he comes out of this alive (picturing Sweeny Todd).
He was seated politely and the first thing on the menu was the hot towel – the barber flapped it around in the air a bit (the towel, you filthbags!), presumably to cool it down, but it was soon whammed around Simon’s whole face with a little peeky piece for his nose and mouth (I then too this secret photo). Simon thought it seemed quite hot at first but that it soon felt very relaxing.
The towel came off and the lathering up happened. They used a nice thick shaving brush which the barber manipulated by hand to cream up (ho ho ho) different parts of the face, using a stippling effect first then a more aggressive brush over. The shaving cream was thick and luxurious 
and the whole experience made Simon think he should spend more time on his lather at home. He does use ‘proper’ shaving cream and a badger hair brush already but even still improvements can clearly be made!
Once properly lubed up, it was cutthroat time! I was eager to see this part as I bought Simon a cutthroat razor years ago, too keenly, and since he has used different safety razors to warm up to it. Hoping he wouldn’t be sliced and put into a pie, I watched silently aside to ask if I could snap a few shots of the process, which was kindly agreed to. Simon said it was a surprisingly comfortable experience! Interestingly, the barber squeezed parts of his skin to give a closer shave and beckon the hairs out- eww. He was conscientious to watch out for parts of the skin which can be prone to bleeding if nicked which was greatly appreciated and went over parts which needed a little more work. The shave itself took maybe 10 minutes, care taken but you could tell the barber really knew what he was doing.
Following the cutthroat shave, there was a little tidy-up with an electric shaver which I thought was confusing as a blade usually gives a closer shave than an electric version, but theirs must be pretty good! I’ll find out what Ted’s used and report back – we may have to get one for home!
To finish the shave, shaving balm was applied along with a little face massage and then another hot towel was wrapped round Simon’s chops. This time, he got an arm massage which was a nice extra. Simon isn’t much of a massage fan and had to be told to relax as his right arm was like a robot, but actually came out of it appreciating the whole experience.
Now his beardy area was all sorted out, his sideburns were given a once over. A lot of hairdressers haven’t asked about sideburn preference and in the past despite entering a ‘salon’ with a full sideburn (and therefore hopefully showing your preference of a full sideburn), some places think it best to whip a chunk of length off regardless. Ted’s was different and respected that Simon wanted to keep the length, so they just neatened the ends and gave them a once over with an electric.
ALERT! Out came the firey stick – ear flaming!! Aiie! Basically this is a little ear-whipping with fire to get rid of any little lurking hairs. Feedback was that this is a lot less scary when you don’t know it’s coming as fire near your face isn’t usually something you’d look forward to. A few seconds and it was done! Huzzah!
The barber asked if there was anything else he could do but the experience was complete with a very satisfied client. Simon found the whole experience really enjoyable and very relaxing, which he will definitely repeat again ….probably with a haircut included next time. This is from a man who does not pamper himself at all so it really must have been something special. Thanks for your time, Ted’s Grooming Room, and see you soon!
Forked by Stefpuff (and Simon)
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Twitter: @Teds_Grooming
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fork my piehole 